Traumatizing Traditions
It wasn’t my intention to blog on Thanksgiving, but when I’m in my feelings about something writing helps me to better process my thoughts. For as long as I could remember, women in my family have been in the kitchen cooking on the holidays while the men sat back, relaxed and watched TV. They would literally sit around ALL day and then expect to be “served” their plate. I never really questioned this tradition because it was all I knew. When certain traditions are ingrained in your culture you come to think of them as normal, without questioning if these practices are really fair.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve spent the last 2 years in the middle of a pandemic juggling working, being a part time teacher, tending to household chores, being a faithful wife, and serving others that I’m EXHAUSTED!! Every second of my life it feels like I’m doing something for somebody or running a mental check list of what I have to do. There seems to never be moment of true rest. As I’m typing this I want to burst into tears because life is so unfair for women!!! The expectations placed on us at times is suffocating.
I mean, we work too!! We pay bills too!! We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders too!! We juggle a million and 5 tasks too, so why can’t we rest and relax? Why are we expected to cook after a long week of work? Why are we made to feel guilty when we decide to sit the holiday out? Why are women expected to work on holidays, while men get to sit down and watch football? Like seriously why is this okay?
I know today is a day to be thankful and reflect on all of our amazing blessings. I truly am grateful for my family. I am grateful that God created me to be a help meet. I’m grateful to be a wife and mother. I’m even grateful for God’s Word that calls us to serve.
However, all that being said, I want us to also reflect on some of our traditions that could be traumatizing and triggering. It’s about time we created some new traditions. Here are a couple of suggestions.
Everybody should contribute to the holiday meal and not just the women in the family. (Believe it or not, some women DON’T like to cook and that does not make them less of a woman).
Invite the young boys in the family to help cook as well. They could help prep veggies and stir the cake mix too. (Same with inviting the girls to learn to BBQ).
Get rid of any sense of entitlement!! This is a season to be grateful NOT to sit back and kick your feet up because you think you, “deserve it”.
If you didn’t cook, volunteer to do the dishes.
The reality is, these last couple of years have been hard for everybody. We are ALL tired, exhausted and trying our best to hang on. We need to be intentional about our behaviors and our actions towards each other. We need to be mindful of our unrealistic expectations.
I don’t have any profound truths that God has given me concerning this matter. I am still in the pray and give it to the Lord phase. If God gives me any additional thoughts to share, I will create a Part 2.
In the meantime, I pray that each of you who reads this post have a blessed holiday. Remember to extend grace, understanding and help out where you can. You never know what people are struggling with. We are all in need of a little extra love right now.
Blessings!!!
